What’s driving your behaviours?
Have you ever found yourself wondering why you repeat certain behaviours? Why you react in particular ways to certain people or situations—only to regret it later? It’s a common struggle. Why is there often such a gap between our good intentions and the impact our actions?
Over the past few years, I’ve had the privilege of running 80+ Heartstyles leadership programs, and they never cease to amaze me with their enduring relevance and personal impact. These programs go beyond surface-level skills and delve deeply into the heart of human behaviour, providing tools and insights that can transform not only how we lead but also how we live.
The Heart of Our Behaviours
At its core, Heartstyles is about exploring the why behind what we do. It helps uncover the root causes of our behaviours and offers a framework for understanding and improving them; addressing key questions like:
What drives us to act in ways that don’t align with our values or goals?
How do our coping mechanisms, designed to protect us, sometimes hold us back?
What triggers our ineffective behaviours, and how can we interrupt those patterns?
What impact do our actions have on others, and how can we become more intentional in our interactions?
The journey doesn’t end there. Participants are equipped with strategies to consciously choose productive behaviors—especially in high-stress situations—helping us align our actions with our intentions.
Above the Line vs. Below the Line
One of the most powerful concepts in Heartstyles is the idea of living “above the line” versus “below the line.”
Living below the line means being driven by pride (self-promoting) or fear (self-protecting). These attitudes often lead to counterproductive behaviours that hinder growth, individually and collectively. In contrast, living above the line involves embracing humility and love—heart attitudes that which enable us to psychologically ‘open up’ - to learning and to connecting and growing with others.
It’s not about changing who you are at your core. Instead, it’s about strengthening your character and allowing your heart to align to your deepest values, to guide your actions.
My Own Experience
For me, this concept hits home on a deeply personal level. I live with a lot of low-level fear. Fear is a constant passenger in my life—it never fully disappears. But the question I often ask myself is this: Will I let fear sit in the driver’s seat?
When fear takes control, it steers me toward self-protection. I hide. I play it safe. I stay within the boundaries of what’s comfortable. But with awareness, I can make a conscious choice to shift fear to the backseat. It’s still there, but it’s not in charge.
Instead, I can put humility or courage in the driving seat. When these attitudes are steering my thinking, they lead me to behaviours that push me out of my comfort zone. They help me grow, take calculated risks, and contribute in ways that fear never could.
The Ripple Effect of Heart Attitudes
The impact of shifting to above-the-line behaviours is profound. From what I’ve seen, people who embrace this shift often experience:
Personal and Professional Growth: They excel in their careers and lead with greater confidence and clarity.
Improved Well-Being: Reduced stress and a stronger sense of purpose often follow this shift.
Deeper Relationships: By prioritizing humility and love, they build trust and foster more fulfilling connections.
One of the most beautiful aspects of this journey is the realization that with awareness, we always have a choice.
Choosing the Right Attitude
Let’s take a moment to reflect: What’s driving your behaviours? Is it fear or pride—or are you letting love and humility take the wheel?
For example, I might find myself operating from a place of pride. In that mindset, I’m focused on myself, often at the expense of others. But with intention, I can pause and choose to put love in the driver’s seat instead. Love reminds me that I care about others and want them to flourish. This shift changes not just my thinking but also my actions, enabling me to support and uplift those around me.
The good news is that none of us are stuck. With awareness and intention, we can shift our heart attitudes and rewrite our default responses, and align our behaviours with the person we aspire to be.
The Journey is Worth It
If you’re looking to make positive changes in your life, consider starting here: Take a closer look at what, in your heart, is driving your behaviors. It’s not always an easy journey, but it’s one that can transform how you show up in the world.
Whether you’re leading a team, nurturing relationships, or pursuing personal growth, the principles of Heartstyles offer a roadmap to living with greater purpose and impact.
Trust me, the journey is worth it.
#LeadershipDevelopment #Heartstyles #PersonalGrowth